How to structure a eulogy
A eulogy does not need to be flawless or long. It needs a shape you can follow when your voice wobbles. This guide gives you four parts, a rough length for each, and a few fictional examples.
How long should a eulogy be?
Most eulogies run between two and seven minutes. Shorter is almost always better than longer.
| Length | Words |
|---|---|
| 2 minutes | about 260 words |
| 3 minutes | about 390 words |
| 5 minutes | about 650 words |
| 7 minutes | about 910 words |
Timings are estimates based on a calm speaking pace (about 130 words a minute). Practise out loud to check your own pace.
Opening: say who you are
Start with who you are and how you knew the person. One or two sentences is plenty. Then say their name, so everyone knows the speech is about them.
Example (fictional): “Good afternoon. I’m Nina, Walter’s granddaughter, and I’m grateful to be here with all of you.”
Aim for about 10 percent of your speech.
Stories: show them, don’t list them
Choose one to three short stories. A story that shows what they were like is worth more than a list of achievements. Pick moments you remember clearly, with a place, a sound or something they said.
Example (fictional): “On Saturday mornings every bicycle on the street ended up in Walter’s garage.”
Leave out anything that could hurt someone in the room, and anything the family has not agreed to share. If you are unsure about a detail, ask a close relative before you include it. This part is about 60 percent of your speech.
Qualities: what they leave behind
Say what the stories add up to: their patience, their humor, how they showed up for people. Two or three qualities are enough. Tie each one back to a story you already told, so it never sounds like a list.
Example (fictional): “He taught me that you fix things by listening first.”
This is about 20 percent of your speech.
Closing: say goodbye
End with a short line that sounds like you. Thank them, say goodbye, or pass on one thing you will carry with you. Then stop, and take a breath. You do not need a grand finish.
Example (fictional): “Walter, thank you for every one of them.”
Keep it to about 10 percent of your speech.
Before the day
- Read it aloud, slowly, and time yourself. Cut anything that makes you stumble.
- Check every name and the way it is spelled.
- Print it in a large font, with short paragraphs and room to breathe.
Want a draft to start from?
AI-written from your stories.
Our eulogy writer turns your own stories into a speech with this shape. You see a free preview before you pay. Or go back to the home page.